This morning we got a call from a reporter at the Cape Cod Times asking us if many of our couples were still following the age-old tradition of the groom-to-be asking his perspective father-in-law for his daughter’s hand in marriage. While this conversation doesn’t always come up with our couples, sometimes it does and every time we ask the groom if he asked for Dad’s blessing, the answer has always been, “Yes.”

I’m not sure I was really all that surprised to learn this, even though today’s weddings aren’t nearly as traditional as they once were. But, I will say, I love knowing that guys are still asking. I’m not at all a traditional kind of person, but I just love the gesture that these young men make in gathering the courage to have that conversation.

Personally, Andy & I didn’t follow any of the typical wedding traditions when we got married. Our ceremony & reception were held at Bourne Farm in Falmouth, which is this gorgeous property overlooking a pond, with grapevines in the summer and a pumpkin patch in the fall and marking the property lines are miles of hand-made stone walls. It’s got a very laid-back country kind of feeling, definitely not a church. We didn’t have a formal bridal party. My sisters walked down the aisle, which was really just a dirt path, each of them arm in arm with my dad. Andy’s parents walked down with his brother and Andy & I followed behind walking arm and arm together.

Despite our lack of tradition, one thing Andy did do was ask my dad for his blessing as he prepared to ask me to marry him. And, I was so happy to hear that he had done that. It was kind of silly, considering we’d been living together for 5 years when he asked and I was always certain that my dad was very happy about our commitment to one another and our desire to spend our lives together.  But, I thought it was such a sweet and respectful gesture on Andy’s part. I think my dad liked it too, even though he had long been sold on Andy being a part of the family. At one point, he jokingly threatened that if we ever broke up, Andy would still be welcome, but me he’d have to think about.

Anyway, this reporter’s question has got me wondering about what other couples have done when it comes to this question of tradition. And we’d especially like to hear from our grooms….Did you ask your sweetie’s dad for her hand in marriage before popping the question? And, if so, what was your reasoning for doing so and what did her dad say? And if you decided to forego that particular tradition, we’d like to hear about that too. Why didn’t you ask and was everyone cool with that?

Please share your experiences with us…we’ve heard some of your stories already during our meetings, but it might be fun for our blog readers to hear too!

Cheers, Chris & Andy

PS. We weren’t exactly stoked about our wedding photos (that’s a long story for another day). They’ve been stuffed in a box somewhere in the basement (FYI…not a good place to store photographs. Humidity is a killer). I couldn’t find the box today, but, when I do, I’ll post a photo of us walking down the aisle!

Here it is…